Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have

I have developed a terrible habit of speaking without thinking. It is a habitual problem that I have been suffering from for years. It leaves family and friends with a deer in the headlights look as I continually blurt out the infamous, "Cassie-isms." So without further-a-do, here are some of the most brilliant statements said. You might learn a thing or two from my genius comments ;)

*The Red Rocks ARE in fact, very real…God made them on the 8th day

*You do have to be dead before you can be an organ donor

*If you clean the hard wood floor with canola oil…it won’t ruin it, it will just be really shiny and extra slippery

*The gas tank is on the left side of the car…no matter what gas station you are at

*You can’t cut bread very well with the knife upside down, or vacuum a hardwood floor with it upside down either

*No, Bryan does NOT have brights on the back of his truck. Those are just the reverse lights

*If you write a college essay for a j-school class and write “duck tape” instead of “duct tape,” your essay will be read aloud in front of the entire 200-person lecture

*It is possible to tip room service $30 on $5 worth of ice cream…hopefully they will be nice enough to knock on your door and tell you that you made a mistake

*Contrary to popular belief, airplane tires are actually very small…I know…who knew?!

*Just because you go, “back east” doesn’t mean you will go, “forward west.”

*Under no circumstance does, “Quiero ser desnudo,” mean, “I’m hungry.” Even if Maddi and Erin tell you differently

*The place where you pour anti-freeze into the car looks like two backwards candy canes…even if common folk refer to that icon as “windshield wipers.”

*Fascinations is NOT a cheaper version of Victoria’s Secret (insert shocked face when I walked in)

*You can go into the men’s bathroom at the airport, give the man coming out of the stall a dirty, disgusted look while he gets flustered at the thought that HE is in the wrong bathroom, and then have a second man walk out of another stall, realizing I am the one that doesn’t belong

*Leaving oil in a pan on high heat for to long WILL start a fire

*Goldfish (the food) are made hallow from yeast…just call customer service, they will transfer you to someone who will inform you of this

*Alaska is actually up north, not south like they always show in the corner on maps

*When asked how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver correctly, the appropriate response is NOT to give the patient five “pelvic” thrusts. Those will not save the patient, five “abdominal” thrusts will.

*When someone walks into Victoria’s Secret and holds out their arms, you shouldn’t automatically assume that they want a hug. It could be that they in fact, just want to be measured…

*And last, just as an FYI…the 8-cups of water you need to put in Kool-Aid don’t actually go IN the packet itself

So the next time you speak without thinking and someone’s response to you is, “your pretty,” shut your mouth, swallow your pride, and chalk another Cassie-ism up on the board…

.......Life is tough.......